revenge can make u look so ugly ,, yet so honest .. 

if u wanna know the meaning of frustration .. i'll be glad to teach u :(

i just cant do anything anymore :( :(

i cant even wish to die !!

:( :( :(

شعبي يرقص .. ليتني أفهم كيف يرقص ؟!

يبدو انه هناك علاقة عكسية بين التفكير والرقص ..
وانا الأحمق الذي كنت أظنها طردية !!

on my knees , i shall ask forgiveness ,, one day ....

from whom ,, i dont know ,,

i just realize that someday, not far away, im gonna miss up ,, and it wont be pretty to watch ,,

and yes ,, im hating myself already :(

 

as i go on ,, i discover that the questions i used to ask as a kid , are actually real problems in the world !

never underestimate a question ,, they all matters ,, ALL !!!

أمي لازالت تحاول ان تردعني عن الكتابة .. لا ترى فيها خيراً .. ولن ترى أبداً ..
أمي ليست جبانة .. بل هي مجرد أم عادية ..
تخشى علي من حروفي ..
ليتها تعلم .. اني لم اجد سبيلاً آخر لأفرغ ما يعتمل عقلي !!
ولم اعد اهتم بماذا اكتب .. فتراني اتخبط سياسية ودين وادب ..

أمي لو تعلمين أن اقصى حديث خرج من فمي الى اليوم لم يشفي غليل ذرة مما في داخلي .. !
لأنهم لا يفهمون اماه .. ولربما شرح فكرة واحدة يتطلبني عمر كامل ..

فاتركيني اكتب .. اكتب حتى انزف .. وادعو سراً ألا تصلي إلى مدونتي هذه .. !!

"حبيبي" .. ترتجف أناملي حتى وأنا اكتبها ..
غريبة هذه الكلمة بالعربية .. لا أعتقد أني قادر على لفظها حتى !!
ربما سيلون وجهي بيكاسو .. أو تعتلي ركبتاي الكرة الأرضية ..
غريبة هذه الكلمة .. غريبة فقط في العربية !!

قليلة هي المرات التي بكيت فيها ... وكثيرة هي المرات التي أردت ان ابكي فيها ..

مدعي قوة .. لا شيء أكثر ..

كأن القوة هي واجبي .. كأنها شيء لا يمكن ان اعيش -او يعيش غيري- دونه ..

تباً لها .. فقد سلبتني الكثير .. سلبتني القدرة على الحب ..

فأنا الى اليوم .. لم أحبب انساناً في حياتي ..

لا والديّ .. ولا اخوتي .. ولا أصدقائي ..

أحببت فقط نفسي .. أحببتها من كل قلبي .. فخانتني نفسي .. وأصبحت بلا حب بشكل رسمي ..

أتعتقدون أني مسكين ؟

Music has no homeland , nor religion ...

music stays the same ,, where ever it is ,, and to who ever hear it ,,

that's why i adore it ,, and sometimes i wish i could hold it in my hands ,, and kiss its notes ,, one by one

بعض الأمور في استراتيجيات مجتمعي تحتاج للتعديل ..

النقطة الأولى .. الدين ..

لن أتطرق إلى الجهل الديني .. فهو قصة طويلة .. سأخصص لها منشورات اخرى ..

لكن سأتحدث عن الفكرة السائدة ..

يعتبرون المتدين انسان ممتاز على كل الأصعدة ..

رئيس بلدية .. متدين ؟ .. وظفوه !!

عريس .. متدين؟ .. زوجوه

عذراً .. لكن هناك شيء في دينكم أسمه المعدن .. فكل انسان من معدن ..

أي أن لكل انسان شخصية معينة .. يدعمها الدين .. لكن لا يحددها ..

الفكر يختلف .. والقوة تختلف .. والقدرة على القيادة تختلف ..

هناك محددات كثيرة .. تقف أولاً .. ويأتي الدين بعدها ..

ولا تنسوا أبداً .. أن فينا من لا يؤمنون بدين معين .. لكن بفكر جميل يصلح لأن يكون حكيم !!

تحياتي

يعودون للحديث عن الله .. ومحبتهم .. ودعائهم .. ليلاً ..
كأنهم نسوا اللقاء الغرامي المحرم صباحاً ..
والأدهى .. أنه لم يأخذ بعد لقب الحبيب ! إلى الآن مجرد شاب عابر ..

everything in this world has sacred borders ,, 

and every human in this world lives to break them ,,
if they're not religion, they're secularism .. 

love,music,peace,religion

let's make it clear ,,
a man with no love is still a man ,,
and a girl who doesn't believe in love is still a girl ,,
cuz love cannot define everything in this world !
just like music , and peace , and religion ,,
u can still live a happy life with only a couple of them !!

ثوار هذه الأيام غريبون جداً .. كلما عطس أحدهم في أمريكا يصرخون "مؤامرة" ..
ويخرجون إلى الصفحات الإلكترونية .. يهاجمون الناس بعبارات منقمة ..
أو يتسطرد أحدهم لهو الناس وانشغالهم عن المقاومة بالامور التافهة كالهواتف الجديدة .. وهو يمضي نهاره يلهو بـ أيفون تداين والده ليشتريه ..
استمر وفقك الله .. استمر نزلت عليك حيطة !

when you seek knowledge, you'll bump up with religion one way or another,,
so to be fair, i decided to read the three holy books, and perhaps i'll learn about Hinduism and Buddhism .. 

when i was young, i learned a lot about Islam and Christianity ,, so i started with them , there is a huge deference between them, but still, you can sense some assimilation , same stories, same meanings in certen parts,,
i'll write down what i dont understand in them as i go on in this blog , let's hope for the best :)

  

i came here ,, cuz im tired of all the people i know ,,
they dont understand anything !!
and among them educated people ,, who reads alot of books ,, i mean ALOT !
but apparently they dont believe in anything the "book" didnt say !
trust me ,, if i wrote half wt i think in a book ,, they will worship it !
so closed minded ,,
im changing my name ,, yes ,, im gonna start using a fake one ,,
i will write till i die , or the laptop go down ..

welcome my friends ,, welcome to my little party ...
objective :: create a storm in ur mind

a lot of people around me lake knowledge ,, and much more common sense ,,
sometimes its stupid to be smart ! 

whenever i hear Tonny Bennett sings this song ,, i smile ,, cuz its just beautiful ! 

Love like that - Dream

something about my dreams makes me feel scared ,, and it's funny how these kind of dreams can make someone scared,, they're not horror , or thriller ,,
no ,, not at all, but it's a thing among the stories themselves ,,
last night ,, i dreamed a dream ,, i was a guy , in my early twenty, and i still dont know why!
i was in love ,, so deeply in love with this girl ,, she had black hair, and quite shorter than me ,, or perhaps im the one with who was tall !
unfortunately , i didnt get the story right, like every other dream i have *_* ,,,
so here's what i do remember ::
all of the sudden ,, we -me and my girlfriend- were chased by a killer, a hit-man , or a special agent after revenge, call it as you like,,
my family live on a mountain , not high though , and a cross there stood a house, it's was open for renting, like always , collage students usually,
but this time, it was taken by a man ,, with a face like V's mask in V for vendetta, he was clearly coming to get us ,
we ran , and end up in a tunnel , we kept walking, in the end of it , there was a screen so realistic that i thought it was really a class room a head ! ,, i was about to walk back when she said to wait a bit,, and started checking the live broadcast , it was a class in japan as i believe , straight a head the camera a girl with blonde her was sitting, my girl was suggesting that she's a foreign, i said that alot of girl colors there hair, the girl stood up ,, walked towards the chalkboard, she wasnt Japanese after all !
my love (im gonna call her Clair from now on) , was getting blue every second passed,, the talk between us go on , to reach finally the biggest shock in my life, she was a spy , and quit years ago , and something about how she dont remember that much from her former life, a loud shot interpreted us, a gun shot! we held hands and ran ,, dont know where , or even how,, we kept running till we felt safe , in a forest with high trees,,
the first thing i did was checking her for injuries, she said "im alright, the bullet came from my right side" , when she saw the confused look on my face , she grabbed my hand and put it her right arm , i felt something hard, underneath her skin, apparently it was a device planted to keep the bullets out, but only when they came from that side , i asked how it works but she didnt know,,
we sat under a tree, i wanted to cry, but im the man here,, but i did anyway, i cried inside , everything hurts ,, my body, my heart , the fact that there's a crazy man coming after me and Clair ,, i cant lose her !
after a while , i got up, i said we had to face him, i dont wanna run anymore, we have to go back ,, my knees were so weak, but i made up my mind, she shook her head agreeing , and got up ,,
it didnt take that much time to reach my parents house, we got in the front door, with our eyes stuck on the house across the mountain ,, and it was as we expected ,, he came out running with his weird looking face, so we flew with the wind inside trying to avoid him as much as possible ,,
then ,, the face off ,, right in front of us ,, holding his gun ,, suggesting me to let go of Clair cuz he only wants her, but hell no ! , i grabbed her close to my chest, held her between my arm , she hugged back even more ,,
i covered her up with all my body, and started praying in my head, the seconds ,, were moving so slow that i think i saw the bullet moving in the air !
then nothing ....

I'm amazed by the amount of stupid people I've been friend with !!

it's just wrong !!
i need to find some more friends ! just to be sure ,, whether it's just them , or everybody else ! 

i wonder how does it feel to kill someone , taking life for pleasure ... 
sometimes i wish im not me ,, just to experience killing ... 

bye bye ,, my love goodbye ,,
dont stop me from saying these words ,, !!
i can only say them once ,, i gain strength only once ,,
now let me drown in my drinks ,,
bye bye ,, my love ,, goodbye 

democracy

DEMOCRACY ,,

or shall we call it demoCRAZY ..

simply means u got to choose the dictator u want to screw u !!! 

Columbus day ,, they said

when you think more ,, u realize new possibilities in old things ,, thing u've been dealing with for along time

Columbus didnt discover america ,, it wasnt lost to be found ,,
he even called it "new land" ,, im sorry ,, but wasnt it a home for  indians since the time even before Europe opened it eyes ?


and u keep wondering why America support Israel ?
find a land ,, say it was lost ,, call it ur own ,, kill it's people ,,
then make urself a pathetic in front of the judge stand ,,

so ,, damn us ,, and school history books that taut us to worship Columbus !!!

a talk about change

a talk about change

i like myself just the way i am, i dont try to change it ,,
you may see it as a bad thing to hide emotions, but i see it as a great thing, ,
because with time, you learn that you have shut down some unwanted feelings ,,
and among all, i hate the weak feelings, like fear & love , and so i hate crying, and every way to show it ..
and that's why this personality works pretty well for me,, and i'll live happily ever after ,,
however, i wish to find that one person who can change everything,,
not because i want to change,  it's not something he'll force you to do, it will be something that comes with the gentle wind ,,,

where i wanna be

im exactly where i wanna be ..

we all want to say that one day ..

so ,, if you're not there ,, where r u ? and which path r taking to reach it ?

أتمنى فقط .. أن استخدم دبلوماسيتي الغريبة في أمور مفيدة !!
لا أراها إلا عندما اكون في ورطة ..
ألا يمكن أن استخدمها لأن لا أقع في ورطة من الاصل؟!

when u hide ur feeling ,, and throw it in closed crypt ..

then ,, u try to convincing ur soul to let it go ,, and that those feeling r just a frenzy that will end when u wake up ,,

well my friend ,, u should know that u reached to the ultimate point of love !


عنما تكتم مشاعرك .. وتلقيها في سراديب مغلقة ..
وتحاول اقناع روحك بأن تتركها .. وبأن تلك الاحاسيس مجرد نوبة تنتهي حين تستيقظ ..
تعلم أنك قد وصلت الى أسمى درجات العشق !


D.A

oh Natalie ,, they've sung ur name with soft music ,,

but non could catch
the essence between the corners of ur name my love ,

 ..cuz u're mine ,, and ur perfume hugs me only 

اوه ناتالي .. تغنوا باسمك .. 

لكن لم يقدر أحدهم أن يمسك ذاك العبق بين ثناياه حبيبتي ..

فأنت لي .. وعطرك يعانقني وحدي .. 

get me drunk !

ur lips ,, the greatest wine i ever tasted ,,
an addiction ,, makes me in need for a sip every second ,,
get closer ,, i wanna taste it ,, i wanna suck it all ..

 plz .. get me drunk  !

wrong note ?

im gonna retire ,,

becuz my soul plays on ruins chords ,and my heart can no longer bear those fingers tempering with her drizzles .

i feel ,, life is like a blind musician ,, who never heard of the note nectar nor the elegance of rhythm ,,

yes ,, i became a mere symphony ,, fail for many reasons ,, among all ,, it's been written with a language , and played in another !

سأعتزل ..
لأن روحي تضرب على اوتار مدمرة .. وقلبي لم يعد يحتمل تلك الانامل التي تعبث بقطراتها ..

فأنا أشعر .. وكأن الحياة موسيقار أعمى .. لم يسمع يوماً برحيق النوتة وأناقة الايقاع ..

نعم ها انا قد امسيت مجرد سيمفونية .. فشلت لعدة اسباب .. ومنهم .. انها كتبت بلغة .. وعزفت بأخرى !

tired ,, and all i want is a couple of breathes from "who i am" ! 

TANGO !!

I .. I need ultimate passion ...
I need love that sucks my soul out with a kiss ...
i need a bit of wildness and danger ...
i really really need !!!


أنا .. أحتاج للشغف المطلق ..
أحتاج حباً يمتص روحي خارجاً بقبلة !
احتاج القليل من الإثارة والمخاطرة ..
حقاً أحتاج !!

لا تريده ان يشي ؟

مممممم ...

لن يتكلم .. ان كانت اسنانه تؤلمه .. :/

يقول .. انا وانت وضوء القمر فقط ..

وانا اقول لك .. لا تنسي هناك من يكون في كل مكان ...

I see in ur eyes the sense of history ,, grapping me genitally ...
and every time i look at u ,, i learned a new story ,,
i learned the passion of troy ,, i learned the love of the first Greece ...

أرى في حدقتيك عبق التاريخ .. يشدني إليه بأناقة ..
وكلما نظرت إليك .. تعلمت قصة جديدة ..
تعملت عشق طروادة .. تعلمت عشق اليونان الأولى ..

سجل يا تاريخ ..
اليوم .. سجلت في شريط الذكريات اول لقطة "انثوية" مع صديقتي .

LOL !

i believe that not everything u "want" ,, is actually wt u need ,,
sometimes ,, u realize wn the time is gone ..

i want sth ,, but still i dunno wt is it ,,
or how to get it !

u can feel every touch on the piano ,,
u can hear the notes talking about him and her ,,
the ultimate gossip ,,
that's how i love my music ,, gentle as the night ,,,


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-4wUfZD6oc

انا لست انسان بعد ..
فلم أشعر بالحب يوماً ..
ولم أشعر بالكراهية ..

وعلى هذا المنوال .. لن أشعر بأي مشاعر ابداً

and what do u know ,,, i turned out to be a cold ******
got exam in one hour ,, and im playing billiards :/ 

lovers? ,,, for me ,,
are two best friends who sleeps 2gether :P

فقط في اسرتي ..

تجد أمي تحاول أن تصيبني بانهيار عصبي بأقصى طاقاتها ..

لا .. لا يهيء لي ذلك .. فسمعي قوي ..

أحياناً أشكر الله أن لدي طاقة تحمل عالية .. وأنني لا أبدي أي تفاعل مع من حولي ..

فإن لم أكن كذلك .. لربما قتلت أحداً ..

whispers ,, at last

your breathes ,, hugs my heart so hard ...

scramble the aches of my feminine with a whisper ...

teach me what love is ..

teach me how kisses can rise a body to the sky .. 

لو يدرون ..

أنك رحلت .. وأني لم أفك احرامي بعد ..

لو يدرون ما كان بيننا ...

عشق دون كلمات ...
لم نعترف به ابداً .. لكنه كان هناك ..
كتوأم روحي حقاً ..
هم يرددون تلك المقولة .. ونحن عشناها ..
في صمتنا وكلامنا ..

والآن .. هل يفهمون  ؟

انني عشقت .. وتزوجت وترملت .. وانتظر لقاءه في الجنة !!!!

a hangman with lisence

it feels like my soul is Choking ,, and my body is her Executioner ....